Have a budget that works.

Many people ask me how is it you save when yo earn next to nothing. 

In fact when I use to earn $1000 a week I found myself spending more but having nothing to show for it. Where did that money go? On reflection I was wasteful, fast food, smokes wanting to party and live the life. But when it came Christmas time or a birthday or even car registration I would be scratching around for money and really struggling. Why? Because that $8 a day I would waste on lunch would have equated to money in my pocket, I could have made my lunch. So I was spending $40 a week on lunch. In the big picture $40 a week would have equated to $2000 a year. 

People today put to much emphasis on what we want not what we need. Do you really need that new iPhone? What's wrong with your old one? Nothing so why do you need a new one? 

There is nothing wrong with wanting the best, but do you need it?

When I suggest people save I always say what are you spending money on that you really don't need to? Like McDonalds 3 times a week maybe? Learn to cook your own burgers. It's often because people are lazy they would rather buy then enjoy the taste of a home cooked meal. 

Eating out should be a treat a reward not something you do because its easy.

When shopping do you buy things that end up being thrown out? People walk every isle when this can tempt you in to purchasing that special only to see it sit in the fridge or cupboard for months. To expire then be thrown away.

Everyone can save. It's about looking at your bills and rent and making that and food your number one priority, what you have left in your hand say it is $100 a week and you have a family, you have rego. What are you doing with that $100 left over! 

If you put $20 of that in to a separate savings account get the bank to shift it the day you get paid, by the end of the year that's $1000.

That's your rego and some Christmas gifts covered. 

People find it easier to be in debt live in credit as its easy to pay things back rather than save money.

Do you own a money box? Buy yourself a coin money box and make a habit of putting all of your loose change into it. 

Consider this have you ever purchased something with cash? Have you ever walked in and paid a big bill off and felt the relief? You can feel this all the time if you budget wisely. And you need to be realistic when your doing this. Write a list of things you have purchased over the last 12 months, how many things did you really need? Where would that money be better spent right now?

I will give an example a single income say $700 a week

Rent $250

Food $120

Phone - Internet $25

Fuel - $80

Loan- $200

I would suggest you put money on a power bill but its up to you, if you are saving you will be able the cover the bills , like rego and electricity bills, birthdays and Christmas, even when your fridge blows up you won't need shop credit because you will have cash. And cash talks people.

Leaves you with $120

What are you spending this on? Is it worth it's? Do you NEED IT?

If you use a credit card first thing in the morning cut it up and concentrate on paying it off or combine it in your personal loan and the monthly repayment put it on your new loan.this will free you up. From $120 for me I would concentrate in saving $50 a week,if you smoke cigarettes try things like rollies, this will help you A cut down because you will find yourself not wanting to roll them B save money because it will be cheaper.

Because of stress many people have habits like smoking and drinking, try and find the cheapest way to do so. And be sure people don't miss out on things because if this habit especially you! 

Rent that's a lot why wouldn't you buy your own home? Rent should never be half of your pay if you are using 50 percent of your wage to pay your rent, you need to look to buy a home. You could purchase a cheap home and the repayments would be less than your rent. 

It's nice to have cash in your wallet but its even nicer to look at a bank balance of $5000 in your savings when you have nothing.

Some people say no live or today. But what happens tomorrow if your whole life changes you can't work? 

Important things to do for low income earners. 

Shop at Aldi, or where you can get a bargain 

Buy bulk it's better to buy a full rump or scorch fillet at IGA and butcher it yourself. For $23 you will find yourself with 25 steaks.

Have a money box and make an habit to put loose change in it.

Put money into your super, contribute the first hours on monday work by salary scarific, salary sacrifice everything you can its a great return for you at tax time.

The government also contributes dollar for dollar, it's a good way to save moneywithout  noticing it.

Also on your super check you have things like permanent disablement and death insurance on your policy, often it is worth running these via your super because its cheaper than some of the life insurance and workers insurance.

Overtime use overtime money as either a larger payment in a debt or save it, pretend you never received the extra cash.

Do not lend money to others, be stingy often people take forever to pay back a debt, your not a bank so you don't have the power to demand payment from friend as a bank or company can demand a payment.

Always have a number or a target, 

Start off small, reaching a goal like $500 will give you freedom, reaching $1000 will give you more, and so on. 

Remember you are a money making machine, you are potentially worth $100s thousand of dollars you need to look at where you are purchasing out of sadness or buying things you really don't need. Everyone has that jumper you brought that's never been warn? Sell that shit off. Many people hold on to things that add nothing to their lives if its not sentimental it's shit. 

Impulse buying seeing something that grabs your eye, often marketing people use tactics to make people buy "crap" they don't need. When you see something like this walk around the shops or come back later.

Buy things that are good quality, if you are one of them people on buy and sell sites buying everyone else's shit that you don't need unlike these pages unless you sell yourself do not go buying other people's trash.

Saving is about dedication it's about writing a number down and going for that target, the more money you see in your account the more greedy you will be, in a great way this will allow you to pay bills your rego, if you have to drop everything and travel across the country you don't need to be using your weeks pay to do it and leave yourself short for weeks if not months to come.

Working people

I challenge you all to save $5000 50weeks .thats one year 

In the first 10 weeks I want to see a balance ina secret savings account.

If you can show me this time next year that yo have a zero balance today and by the end of the year you have $5000 you will get two free face to face readings

Pensioners 

As its harder for you to save I manage $40 a fortnight 

So that is $2000 at the end of the year.

If you to can save $2000 by the end of the year and show me proof you will also win two free face to face readings.

Conditions are only thing you can take from the account is money for registration and one power bill . The rest has to be solely savings.

So by the end of the year pensioners should have $1500

And you working folk $4300

Starts as of today 22/11/2013

And this is all in numerology power numbers 

11

22

2+1=3

33

So lets see who can save...

I may alter this as its not a fully finished blog but I will be adding more in as we go along.

Good luck 

Gina 

The love you make me feel

Have you ever had that person in your life that makes it all complete? This person keeps things together. When your off balance she will help you find your feet? Have you wondered how anyone can accept you just the way you are? 

You do you take my strides as they are you love my laughter my complaining your not changing gears quick enough in the car.

I gave you my heart and you have treated it with care taking it everywhere. I watch you grow and not fear who you are, I admire your work and I feel so proud of you, words would never say the gold star you are.

In my life I had given up on love, and love had to many expectations, when its hard work all the way, we take our time and we climb mountains and we get what we need.

I love you because you give me everything I need. When I need a hug your the one I grab hold of. When I need help to put my pants on your the one I call.

When I feel weak I know you will be strong. What I can't do you can visa versa and that's what makes is belong together. 

There are many plans for us to for fill in this life day by day it will take time, it will be my hand that holds yours through this time.

My heart skips a beat. You sweep me off my feet. For everyday it's you I long to greet.

The dogs don't understand when you go away. Every return is rewarded with 3 happy dogs tails wagging tongues flapping, getting under your feet. 

Home just wouldn't be home if we weren't together, things wouldn't feel nor be the same.

Sometimes we are not perfect, something's are hard, it makes us stronger and makes me love you longer. I don't need to always talk it just having you here that makes it complete, the part where you put pressure on my back with your stinky boot feet. 

Nothing matters, not much else exists as family to me but you. You are my family my love my life and if the laws could be different you could be my wife.

A piece of paper, no jewellery nor gift would prove our love. We do not need a reward or something to prove what we have, and that is each other,

To see you be a mother to see you hold our child is something I hope to treasure for the rest of our lives, a gift we could never thank enough for a gift only a special person could give. They will be this child's god parents, but we will teach it everything we can about love and life. How to be compassionate to their fellow humans how to love animals an nature, they don't have to be smart or pretty, they just have to be themselves unique and able to be confident in life and love and with all we shall teach this child they will have everything they need to survive this world, 

Take my heart forever my love as it belongs to you, for you are all I have ever wanted in life and ill take it you will do. You fit me just fine. Together we make one. 

I wish I could carry the earth for you and provide you with what every butch should but I am weak an ill version of what I should be. 

I give you all I have and you will never get rid of me as death will be all that will part our ways. 

Today you are my lover tomorrow your will be my lover and next year you will be my lover. Till I die I will love you, until my heart stops you are mine :) ..

I love you Ammie more than you will ever know, like seasons they will come and go and together we shall grow. Our family will get bigger and the farm will grow. Together we are one and I would be a fool to let that go when you know this is real and true it's sticking like glue. I stick to you. 

Real depression

Real depression.

My story of how I beat depression and I don't mean the over used word these days for sadness, but depression that you hide so deep it kills your soul.

This started when I was very young a felling of not belonging, having siblings older than I relying on my imaginary friend, because it was the only friend I had.

I never forget my first day of kindergarten, most kids love going to school for me it was leaving my mum, I suffered separation anxiety. I understand what my dogs go through if I happen to leave.

It was hard being little, my brother Todd was angry I understand why but he will never have the chance to deal with it whilst his wife keeps him from his siblings who know what happened to him. It was one night at nana and pops where our uncle lived. Our grand parents had this fold over lounge it was red in colour and you could feel the springs and bounce in this lounge, my sister would sleep head to toe with me, I could heat him weeping " what's wrongs?" I remember taking my 11 year old brothers hand and saying "you sleep with us". The anger started not long after that my parents brought a house that backed on to the school, my father made a gate that opened on to the school so scared little me didn't have to walk a around the street. 

We had a Vulcan electric wall heater every winters day. Angry would wake and scream you "fucken little slut" kick me.. "Move you cunt" I fatten wonder if all the pain I suffer today was because of this. 

My mother not knowing what to do would ignore it but my sister wouldn't or couldn't. She would retaliate bashing him up. 

I was 7 when my sister left home and she left behind my first dog a black cocker spaniel named Muffin. She was something I learnt to speak to. I never forget one day after Todd had hit me I smack muffin outside for nothing. Why did I do that to the one thing that loved me the most? I still hurt from the thought of this. 

I thought growing up would be different, I was this hockey star in mys sisters eyes and I guess if my parents had of kissed more arses my career would have taken me places. Instead I needed to be popular. I had to hang around the cool people, I think now back on this how I was their puppet and slave to the canteen. 

Whilst they had all the boys swooning over them I was dealing with having crushes on people. My best friends sometimes I wouldn't miss a day of school because I didn't want to miss seeing them. 

If I only knew what the hell I was back then would I have acted differently?

Every day of high school was a nightmare a new day meant more name calling, more taunts all I could think of was how my sister was like my friends loved by the boys.

Funny thing is she lost her virginity to a skipping rope handle, because she didn't want to be a bragging tool for boys at school.

Here I was some ugly duckling, a lesbian hanging around people who really didn't be it.

I didn't feel a connection to my parents I felt, different like I angered them, I was friends with people who believe they are above me these days. Yet we shared the same shit.

I decided at 24 I would foster teenagers, not young kids everyone seems to think young kids will be easier, but the satisfaction I got from teenagers was much better you could talk to them, not always answer their questions but I knew this was probably the only conversation these kids would have with an adult.

It was during my training I finally understood what we lacked in our childhood it was these simple three words "I love you". We didn't have hugs or emotional conversations they were not apart of who we were allowed to be.

As I felt so alone and separate from everything in life, I found love my first lesbian love which was hidden as the town was small, she ran a small business. It was deep, we were great friends and lovers. She had children who had a chance to explore as I did in the same mountains. When that ended the way it did I lost a lot my heart. I couldn't comprehend how someone her age could be so indecisive, especially since I have been that age myself. And know exactly what I am. We had a house we repaired from being a shell to our home, blood sweat and tears and our love put that place back together.

The way it ended her father died and she wasn't gay anymore, he could see us from heaven and she jumped into the arms of a man who she married quickly. I guess it was a way of making people question what our relationship was? 

Once again I felt alone, work was hard as my boss had found out second hand that I was gay. And would make comments, it was hard enough fighting my own feelings and thoughts, having to deal with negative comments about gays and lesbians everywhere on the news in the local pub. 

This world wasn't for me where did I fit, no one knew this pain my diaries are full of notes and words I wanted read at my funeral. I would cry myself to sleep and numb the pain of loneliness through a bottle of Jim beam and pain killers. 

One evening the day before the GST was introduced I had enough it was a Friday night, I had struggled with a Friend with benefit doing my head in, I had work calling me a pedophile because that's what us gay people do is pray on kids, my boss had seen the Mardi Gras us gays are perverted. Aids spreaders.

I had come out to my mum, her first words were " don't tell your father". There were no gay people where I lived. 

I wasn't every lesbians cup of tea they seemed to date people who didn't look like me.

What was wrong with me? My head was spinning every thought was just getting out of this life just going away. That evening at 10-45pm after tears I become numb, a feeling where I just was thinking of me not anyone else, not who I would leave behind or how they would feel, it was just me.

I looked at myself in the mirror and with the emptiness inside of me I reached for a bottle of sheaf stout and muscle relaxants. I would pour hand fully of pils into my palm and just swallow. 

After about 65 tablets I remember dozing it was cold and I was meant to play hockey at 1pm the next day. 

I woke up in a daze and vomited on my sheets, all I wanted to do was go to the toilet but I had no comprehension of time, I was calling out to my mother, yet I hadn't lived at home for over 7 years. I can't go to school. I would come in and out of it. I tried to walk to the toilet but my legs had no control. For 2 hours this went on until Smity came home he opened the door I fell into the lounge and broke the door. He kept screaming wha did I take what did I take. 

He told me he had called an ambulance and in my head I'm saying no I don't have cover yet so confused I was in and out of losing site of life. All I wanted to do was wee. The ambulance came as did my friend from hockey. This was not like me I would do anything for the team, and what was going on with me couldn't be seen.

I didn't say I'm depressed or I wanted to kill myself to anyone outbloud, and the times I did it wasn't for attention it was because I knew my mind and its capabilities.

Not one person knew I had this illness, not like today when it's an over used words when people are often just sad.

People often judge me and think I am ignorant to depression, this is not the case at all, I know real depression isn't something one talks about, you won't even open yourself up to professional help. You believe you are destined to die and it will be at your own hands.

Depression today is and for those who really have this illness still suffer in silence, when one takes their life at their own hands who knows about this? No one could stop this because nobody knew!

Until you have suffered this depression where it's a focus on yourself and ending it all for yourself, where no one else counts but you. Don't use the word Im depressed. 

Sadness is something we all suffer and it's what you do with the sadness you feel that will he,p you grow, we all come into this world alone, our thoughts vary from person to person our opinions and emotions are real. Our feelings are what allows us to be compassionate and to love others.

Do I want to kill myself today? No even though today my life is filled with chronic pain, constant exhaustion, I see every day is a new day. Where I may meet new friends and learn a new start from someone else. Do I get depressed? No

Do I get sad? Yes I'm human and I have learnt that much of the pain we feel hurts like it should, heart becomes one if you feel the pain, nothing is easy, life and death being almost as quick as the other. I believe we are all here to make a mark on the world.

I may not achieve everything that I may want to in this life but I won't allow negatives t hold me back.

I shall make my angels proud, I shall love myself and my partner as we both deserve. I shall love the pets whom have taught me unconditional love. I shall meet people who will come and go, as I may heal, I may never get the thank you I may wish for, respect and love we all deserve.

I will learn from my lessons and allow myself to be angry when people do the wrong thing.for I will do only to others as they do to me, as in life and in death I shall be free..

So if your depressed you know what I mean for those of you whom write it all the time. You are making those whom have a serious illness look like fools to doctors and drugs get prescribed that often hinder do not help. So next time you go to write your depressed, thin of those out there whom really are a mess...

G.L.N

Mixed

As I look at myself and wonder why I am such a fuck up, why I don't fit. Everyone I know has some kind of connection to someone, my connection is to Louey. I thought my life was going to be this wonderful thing, just coming out gave me some kind of ultimate freedom, I'm still lost. My soul seeks all that others do and this is love, I wish I could love myself. I know I allow things to roll off my back, like water that rolls or beads on a freshly polished car. I look in the mirror and I see failure, frustration, as my friends seem to be so happy in love whist I strive for this. Where are you? I have looked on buses, in shopping isles?

I gave up last week because I figure I have to live this world and not dream of you, give you a name when your nothing but a figure of my imagination. 

I now hug my pillow, it's been 2 years now and being alone has been trying days seem to roll into the next. I don't want to get out of bed anymore. And I just wish my heart would stop. And someone else could use it, someone whom really wants to live. I'm 25 should I dislike myself this much? 

I don't see myself as a person I feel like I'm stuck in this shit town with disgusting accusations being thrown at me by what could be a dirty man hiding behind his accusations. Surely 10 years of service is enough for people to see this is a sick insinuation, why does it feel like everyone wants to get rid of me? 

I should go sleep in a cave and runaway from the world, I don't know this place. 

No one seems to be one bit interested in me as a person, no one seems attracted to my look. They all want something, that I am definitely not. 

I feel as though my family don't want me around, that all this bullshit that's been said has made them think of me differently, think of what I could be doing in my bedroom. 

I am drinking every night I don't want to wake why can't I just spew and choke on it? 

I feel like the only place I belong is in my hockey team, but then there she is the ex. My first lover fuck what a nightmare. She turned up with a man she had met on a Internet site. They are engaged talk about kick in the guts. 

I feel like I'm using my own messed up shit to manipulate every situation around me, do I want blood on people's hands? What am I getting from life? In general I see it as nothing but restless fear inside a body that can't show feelings. I haven't had a hug from a human for sometime now, I'm feeling numb to connection. 

I look at kids with cancer they can have every healthy bit of me and let them grow, why let someone suffer mentally I'm so confused, I just want to die. I can't feel anymore anyway. The years are dry...

I can't see anyone struggling even people with lost limbs seem more together than I am, I'm a mess every period is like I'm dropping a bucket of blood and my body is drained. I can't think with anything but my heart, because my head has absolutely no idea what is going on at all. 

I don't want to look at this person anymore that looks back at me, why should I like me when others don't see worth in me, if no one but a pet wants to love me without condition. 

I swear there must be a sunshine after a light, that a cloud is a tear that I need to cry.. 

Ill kill yell before I continue this asking of why...

Living with pain

Thinking back to the days when I suffered just lactose acid build up in the muscles, the joys of the 2nd and 3rd day as you would rub the stiffness and sadistically enjoy it.

I use to get my period, they say we lose 3 tablespoons of blood, more like 12 cups I found I had endometriosis. I found myself an awesome gynaecologist Rosamary Lovell. My treatments were firstly to put me through early menopause, anyone out there with "hot flushes, cold flushed and mood swings" I'm getting you. 

Trying to brave this I would allow myself to go through so much pain that I would pass out.

The day I fainted was a shocker. I never forget my partners father had died and she had broken up with me stating in a letter that " he could see her from heaven". Nothing worse than being broken up with by a letter, text or email. Technology is cruel as are pens.

Anyway my partners daughter had asked me to cook them breakfast, I kept saying " I would later" .. I sat on the toilet and felt sick my head was light, I got up and the next thing I came to on the floor with a busting pain in my back. I walked pasted my partners room and I remember her screaming at me "you should have gotten pain killers"!!!!

The rest of the day I lay in agony, I went to work in pain and made an appointment to see this stumpy fingered doctor .. Better know to the town as the 'sex doctor' don't know why he didn't have no vagina pictures on his wall, or anything displaying concerns for sexually transmitted diseases. 

After a few X-rays and nothing showing up he said "you don't handle pain well do you"... 

He ended up sending me for a hotspot X-ray and this showed up a compression fracture of t3-t4-t5 and t6. Nothing was given to me some codeine and I was sent on my way.

I continued my love of hockey and my job. 

Almost made 10 years and I was pushed out the door accusations were made about my sexuality and the behaviours of "us gays". A man accusing me of having sex with my ex partners children. Sick prick, still I wonder what thoughts were running through his head at this time? Was it his own fascination with 14 years olds?

These kids I wanted to protect with my life, scared that at times their mother whom was irrational at times was screaming at them and then running of and leaving them would leave this kids scared. Worried that's these young girls having unprotected sex they may fall pregnant, here I was a young lesbian with pockets full of condoms and wet stuff, because I knew the consequences that lay ahead if one of them were to fall pregnant in that little town.

I started getting head a aches I had lost my job, I had to move, my relationship was destroyed and a home I put blood sweat and tears in was no longer ours. It was hers because I was made to feel guilty. But what human being would allow young teenagers to be on the streets? Not me.

My pain was the one thing I tried to manage by playing sport, hanging with close friends. I loved to dance and sometimes after a big night out I would feel lose and free, but the next time I did it was the ultimate caning of me.

I went to a place called the Hawkesbury in NSW, lived not so far from the river, I was offered an apprenticeship as an adult doing book binding, looking back on it, even though I loved it and gave it 120% I was never offered the same opportunities as my male colleagues and there laziness seen me pulling 2 ton pallets around a factory floor.

First day after a year off I decided to ring centre link and ask of I could attempt to go back to work, they said sure go for it. So I scored a job. Where they expected you to run around like a chook with your head cut off, minus the blood of course. Rush, rush rush, I never forget going home and saying how I liked it but it hurt my body, I just didn't realise how weak I had become.

The next day my house mate rolled me out of bed and I approached the stupid visor and said I needed to work less, so he gave me a 3 day week. 

Going to their competition was the end all and be all of my life as a print finisher for the printers. This was where I was paid $6-8 less than the men, whilst I would put my hand up for all the over time, see the guys couldn't do over time as they all relied on public transport. 

Despite this I wasn't recognised by this boss either. The business went to shit in the end and everyone lost there jobs. But I still feel today I was under paid and worked hard, my boss would get me to work with him, there is a sign of trust in itself. He was so focused on money and his men he forgot about the 2 woman whom did the hard yards there, and both of us suffered pain daily.

Today 5 years later my bones all feel like they sit on top of each other and with every movement is a grind of some sort, that causes some shooting fucked up pain, the head aches and the shakes. Not being able to walk, seeing it in your mind but not able to physically do it as others strut their stuff. I once had a strut too..

To lay in positions to make yourself have some kind of comfort whilst popping all the medications in the world to help mask what can never be cured.

Being sent to specialists for them to say its all i your head, put your hand in the door ill slam it, you tell me where your pain is? In your head or hand... 

Being old to walk four steps. And them saying you need to swim exercise and play sports again.

God complex surrounds many of these book feasting medical professionals and this is what makes the person with an illness feel so alone.

 I may look normal but when you see me walk you won't think this.

Pain isn't something that makes you depressed its something that can frustrate you as others take for granted what you do not have.. The ability to walk a mountain or work to make wealth. 

Is this the body of a 1973 vintage ... 

I ask people to google various things myosotis, shuermanns disease, chiari malformation, Parkinson's disease, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and imagine having all these diagnoses thrown at you, but no medical professional can help you.

  Do your own research

Even when you have a blood test ask the doctor for your results keep your own records, always ask for copies of specialists letters for your own file, also write down side effects of all medications prescribed to you, always ask your chemist for a print out medication sheet.

Therapies 

People will give you all kinds of advice on natural therapies, just swim it cured my Aunty. Just remember every person responds to treatments and medications differently. Knowing your limits is important. Pushing yourself when you have pain or injury can often worsen the problem, take your time and only do what works, do not push yourself or allow others to tell you to go harder, if something feels like its about to snap it probably is.

Make people aware of your illness. Post it everywhere until someone actually googles its.

Your not alone.

Many people whom suffer from chronic pain feel like they are alone, we don't have support groups out there where we can meet and greet. 

You can make connections with others. Be sure to know your illness research it and also get to know what doctors help and hinder, this advice can help a person just like you.

If you feel like your doctor isn't caring for you in a professional manner.

Sack him, never allow a doctor to tell you how you feel, only you know your body. Keep a pain diary and this shows you to are trying to manage your pain. It is a doctors duty of care to give you the best treatment and advice available.

I alway find that if a doctor fobs you off start demanding blood tests and cognitive behaviour therapy and pain management. 

When you know what is available they will start looking for you.

When your chronically in pain 

You can be opinionated, imagine your life being a frustrating and people around you complaining about needing to mow their lawn or take some rubbish to the tip. 

You can stare into space and often be called ignorant or a snob.

You spend 80 percent of your time trying to find things that will take your mind off pain.

You will offend people as your perspective and views on certain things will differ.

You will see things through different eyes and people will be sure to tell you to get an education or they will often feel a need to try and mentally fuck you over just remember your body is tucked never let anyone touch your mind.

Laugh at the world

Only you will laugh at things that others may seem disgusting or out of the ordinary, only you will see the funny side of things.

Don't give too much of yourself 

It's always when you suffer yourself that you tend to lend a hand to others, people will know your on a pension and think you have money so they will often pull heart strings. Think of yourself forget people like this, often these people are capable of making their own money, seeing you as a vulnerable target is often the case. 

It's because we hope others will help is in our times of need, sadly these people aren't the ones whom help you, they are the ones making excuses not to help you.

Remember this. Only people with the strength can handle pain on a daily basis if god exists he gave this to me because he knows I will make the best of every opportunity I am given. Whilst others will pity their lives I will still look for that day where I can run again... 

Even if I shall never run, the dreams and the visions shall always remain...

GLN

You are that....

You are that? That's what you ate? Are you?

People sit there and try and understand who they are why they are the way they are, why bother? 

When many sit there and will constantly complain about who they are.

The only person who can change your life is you...

I have worked with people whom have anxiety and from time to time breathing techniques will get you through, I always say confront your fear with the person you look up to. Your role model some person in your life with strength, whom you desire to be. The biggest problem is making this person face their fears. They are exactly that just fears, like the fear of spiders, how quickly can a shoe squash this fear.

Use your mind to crush your fears.

People whom have depression need to do one thing..

Make sure you are depressed and not sad. These days when you are seen to cry in the eyes of society you are labelled depressed, many whom suffer from chronic pain are labelled depressed. 

Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, often this isn't caused by the death of a relationship or you losing your job. 

Depression is an illness many are born with, many get sadness and depression confused. 

Depression lasts everyday where you don't want to be apart of the world, you don't want to make new friends, it doesn't come and go its something that is consistent in ones life.

 PTSD are caused by a circumstance in your life that one should never have seen, many of these people find any situation hard, to sleep, eat and be a part o society as a whole person they fear many things, but always try and put a smile on their faces as they hide this from others, today the treatment of PTSD with dogs is becoming a massive help for these people.

Social phobia people whom do not like associating with people in a small group or crowd, why is this caused? Something has often happened to make this person socially scared. I suggest steps to get out and meet new people joining a support group with people exactly like you.

Many of these people have been told to shut up too many times that they believe they do not belong in a social environment. 

Post natal depression many woman suffer this after the birth or even during the younger years of their child's life, whilst there are many books out there for every new parent to read no birth is ever the same. Not feeling a bond or connection to a child can be disruptive to a female as they are nurturing and emotional in there thoughts and feelings.

How can you help? Watch for the signs.

And if your feeling alone at this time ask for help.

To many people these days try to portray perfection, nothing is perfect. 

Whilst people strive for perfection they waste time getting to know there flaws and imperfections. 

I want to be perfect, I want to keep up with the Jones.

Be a unique version of yourself stuff keeping up with anyone just be yourself.

What's in an opinion....

Have you ever been one of them people who say, what others think. You have a virus where your mouth doesn't filter anything that your mind thinks. You wonder where that metal strainer is that would stop you from saying what could offend others into oblivion.

We are all born with a mind a voice where, we are often asked to communicate. 

Ever heard this "why don't you say what you feel, or what your thinking?" 

What's the point when you open yourself up to having your head ripped off, or opening yourself up to others opinions. Whilst people don't agree with you, they can find any avenue to attack you.

You may not think like they do, you may not look at life as others do.

Others are much older has visions of the world only I could dream of yet there ignorance is like an alien growing on your arse-hole. 

In the middle of my own time line, and I wonder how other have been brought to believe and think as they do, when in today's society we have so much choice and freedom to grow. 

I often wonder if my growth was stunted by my parents chain smoking in the car with the windows up?

Life isn't about much money your earn, what kind of car you drive or what kind of house your living in,it's about the dog you own? What breed of dog do you own?..

Lite isn't about the confusion your siblings lead to believe like the reasons we have donkeys is because a cow and a horse breed.

Or being told white dog shit is Minties, the powder taste like eating an aspirin and having the flakes crust your teeth. You can wash it out and all it will do is create this assign ball of white shit spit in your mouth..

I have suffered, depression and personality disorders and I have kicked myself through it like a ball being kicked into a goal, hitting the back of the net. Imagining that it was my enemies face in there smiling. What's it like having no teeth? Eh eh ...

What was this caused by? I didn't feel love, I didn't love myself. I lived in the past and would say my parents never hugged me or expressed there love for me. 

Communication at home was a minimal thing, where if you talks your father may miss the news. 

I was teased at school, I didn't excel, I didn't have the brain to, I just wanted to play sport.

I was good at everything, but I was immature and I guess they didn't like my opening mouth thing.

But now I know the difference between depression and sadness, I wished I hadn't carried on played the victim, I get more attention being positive then negative. And my soul learnt to forgive, so now I have the ability to live.

Whilst this always gets under the skin of those whom are chronically depressed. Why are you depressed? Do you have a job? Can you walk? Do you have a family who loves you? So you love yourself? With so much mental health services out there, it only takes you to ask for help. You would be surprised how much exercise and a good diet helps with your well being.. 

I had a hysterectomy at 28, no children for me, yet my other friends had one for me anyway as well as the spare one for the county. Instead I brought dogs. And I get this " they are just dogs". This would be why so many animals are up for adoption.

When you look at a puppy how dam cute are they?.. Nothing in the back of your mind says. It's going to eat my new shoes or the computer cord. Or it may like swinging on the washing line. I better get a mop and bucket cause this thing will shit everywhere. I will come home from work and he will be swinging from the blinds. Who knows what could happen to the carpet. 

No this doesn't happen. I love when my puppy is a dog. And I love when they are old and they can't see and stare into space, waiting for something to appear.

Nothing fucks me off more than people whom get a dog and then get rid of it. People shouldn't buy the pet in the first place. 

I thought by starting a blog I would be able to discuss things people think but are too scared to say out loud. And I will offend but don't look at my writings from your own mind, look at it from a misunderstood mind 

I'm not perfect I have learnt from experience and life. I don't read books because I have the attention span of a chook.